Father Figures

"Why did you stop going?" I asked a guy last night while out swing dancing last night. He had stopped coming to the godless meetups I've been a part of this past year. He pulled me off to the side, wanting to get off the dance floor and into a quieter spot. The last thing he wanted was to offend any of the many religious people there, some of whom we both call friends.

"I stopped coming to the meetups because I got tired of hearing the same stupid argument every time."

I've been tempted to stop going to the meetups lately because I've been getting bored of hearing it myself. The idea that religion is bad and a world without religion is a better place no longer flies with me. It is my experience as a UU who still has friends in the Episcopal church that has reinforced this position.

Much of my current thinking has come from my Build Your Own Theology class and listening to passionate speeches of spiritual experiences from my fellow UUs. What I know about religious thought is most brains are hardwired to believe in some type of greater being, whether true or not. I read a scientific study about this last year — no surprise considering they have a study on everything it seems, so there are facts to back me up.

Psychologically, it is because we like the idea of parental figures who are more powerful and wiser than any one we know will ever be. When you declare yourself an atheist, you are rejecting the idea you need a parental figure, i.e. God(s) to watch over you and keep you in line. With Christianity, atheists are rejecting a father figure. I wonder how many atheists have problems with father figures, but this hypothesis is easy to dismiss as conjecture. When I wanted god the most was when the person I long fought, my father, had passed away. I wanted so much to have his presence back in my life, that I went to a Christian church to honor that feeling.

The commandment to honor thy mother and father makes sense because, you are, in essence, honoring your creators. Your gods, if you will. Most believers aren't willing to reject this idea of all-powerful parental figures because they feel they need rules and commandments of their parents. In the case of the Bible, it is wisdom that has been passed down for centuries. There is something to be said about the enduring power of a piece of literature that has successfully thrived for as long as it has.

When someone says they need god, what they are saying to an atheist is they need parental guidance. Atheism, at its core, turns away from the parental figure. Basically, atheists are saying 'We've grown up and left the house. We don't need dad.'

Scripture is wisdom passed down from the ages and reinforces this parental guidance thanks to stories that are relatively easy to grasp with some thought and teaching. With all the 'evil' details in the scriptures, it's no wonder the Catholic church spent centuries ensuring the masses couldn't read it. It was one of the many methods of control used by the church to keep its tithing revenue stream flowing. After all, at its very core, religion is still a business that requires money to survive. The Church will do anything to protect its interests — here, it uses a complex set of psychological tools under the umbrella of religion to maintain control over you.

The church itself, an institution of religion, is a meeting place of like-minded individuals who share a set of beliefs and values. There, authority figures make parishioners feel important in what is essentially a community safe-house. Parishioners reinforce that feeling given to them by authority figures and bring newcomers in that way. After all, why would you want to go to a community hostile to what you believe in? Also, why would you want someone in your community who doesn't believe in what you believe in? This is why I'm starting to reject atheists groups in favor of being around more Unitarian Universalists — they accept both my non-belief AND tolerance toward all religions.

Also, I'm tired of listening to all the intellectual posturing that goes on at godless meetups. You get a bunch of atheists in the room and they are all trying to one up the other with intellectual gamesmanship. It's really silly, actually. They all seem like they (we?) are acting as if they are gods themselves. In a way, they are right. We are ALL gods. However, that's no excuse for such behavior.

"Atheists like to think they're smart, but there are a lot of dumb ones at the meetups who didn't arrive at atheism through critical or logical thinking."

These are the ones who grew up never having god because it was never a part of their thought process. These are the ones who are also most likely to convert to a religion at some point, possibly even believing in god. I was once of them myself, but the kinder, gentler agnostic version. I went through a long period of thought and study that took me away from doubting believer and back to agnostic atheism (Yes, that's a real term) and it makes a difference.

Many atheists like to somehow think they are intellectually superior to believers because they were able to get away from this need for dad. This is the hardline position and these are the ones most likely to denigrate religion. They are also the ones who probably grew up strongly religious and rejected it on intellectual grounds. This idea that atheists are somehow smarter is ridiculous.

If anything, atheists simply grew up with different experiences not requiring a parent. They didn't need the stories depicted in scripture for guidance or comfort. They didn't need a father figure because they were getting everything they already needed, be it intellectually, emotionally, economically, or socially, with little direction from an authority figure. Generally, these were the types who pulled up their boot straps and got work done and achieved some type of success without believing. You'll see this in a lot of non-religious people, actually.

I am willing to bet someone, believer or non-believer alike, who has everything they need and are content with life will probably feel at one time or another they no longer need god. The ramifications of this is what is taught in the Book of Mormon, if you want to get to the core teachings of that particular scripture. In it, the Nephites are constantly becoming a better society through belief, only to collapse every time they 'dwindle in non-belief.' When the idea of success is equated with belief, it's no wonder many successful believers, in this case Mormons, will attribute that to the parental figure of god, which makes it difficult to leave dad behind.

It seems the more insecure or doubt you feel with ANY aspect of yourself or your life, the more dire your straights, the more likely you are to need dad. In fact, if you look at advertising talking about religion or talk to those higher up in any given religion, this is the psychological tactic used to bring people into the fold. It's easy to see how one can move back to theism once you understand this idea of father figures in religion. They just want the comfort and rules of home. Who doesn't?

The answer to that question is simple: atheists.